Harry Potter, the First Three Books

o I read the first three books in four days, and I’m pausing so that my mom can catch up. So now seems like a good time to share my thoughts and perhaps be raked over the coals by die-hards. Spoilers abound since everyone who wasn’t born in the last 3 years has probably read them.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
The first time I attempted to read HP, I didn’t get past the first chapter. It didn’t seem bad but I just…didn’t care to go any further and so I put the book down. That was, I don’t know, lots of years ago. This time I pushed myself over the hump, and really the book is not bad and I can understand why people like it though I don’t think I’m ever going to be one of those diehard fans (but who knows? maybe the later books will change my mind). Liked the little extras that were left out of the film though to be fair, this film is the closest to the book so far.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
It’s possible my opinion will change as I keep reading but this is still the worst one for me (and I feel the same about the film). Now mind you I read it faster than the first book — it reads just fine, but the reason I don’t like this one is that I just don’t think the main story makes a whole lot of sense. Look, Harry can speak to and understand snakes, and no one else at Hogwarts can (except Rowling revealed Dumbledore could understand Parseltongue so ummmm???). I get that. What I don’t get is why no one else can hear the snake HISSING through the walls. If it’s loud enough for Harry to hear then it should be loud enough for others to hear even if they don’t understand what’s being said. Not to mention that this huge fucking Basilisk is traveling through the pipes…you mean to tell me the walls wouldn’t be shaking? Last but not least “Nearly Headless Nick isn’t dead so he couldn’t die again, instead he got petrified,” might just be the dumbest thing ever, I’m sorry. And how the hell does he manage to drink the mandrake antidote when he’s a ghost? Yeah, probably should’ve just left the ghost out of this one.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The third film has always been my favorite story-wise though I find the fourth to be the funniest and the fourth is probably the one I’ve seen the most. I also knew that a LOT was left out of the third film…probably at the expense of a snow shot or the whomping willow dusting itself off or some such other nonsense. It’s the shortest film after Deathly Hallows, Part 2. Honestly even 10 more minutes probably would’ve made a huge difference. Reading this one has been the most enjoyable so far though because it’s quite different from the film. Oddly enough I think the circular nature of time-travel was handled a little better in the film than the book (all this time I’d been crediting Rowling with this, but it seems it was more the decision of the screenwriter and/or director). Also this film introduces us to what I call: RIDDLE DUMBLEDORE, or first Dumbledore actor died and we replaced him with this dude who wears rags says little and means less. Thankfully RIDDLE DUMBLEDORE was less riddly in the fourth film though he did suffer from ASDFGHJKL; SYNDROME (see right panel).

Something that bugs me about both Books 2 and 3: explaining / repeating information from previous books. I get that these can somewhat serve as reminders, but seriously, it’s tiresome and Rowling gives up too much information, even considering there was a year between each book.

Favorite characters thus far: Hagrid, Fred and George Weasley
Least Favorite characters thus far: Snape (like holy cow did the films tone him down), Peeves (not only do I find him annoying but he actually just seems like a waste of ink to me), the Dursleys (just ugh)